


We could have had it all (You're gonna wish you never had met me).

by creepypaola



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Blood and Violence, Friends to Enemies, Friends to Lovers to Enemies, No proofreading we die like i medici, Post episode 61, Song Lyrics, but not too much because i cant write it, but they are still lovers, love me some drama, not that i spoil anything but its what has inspired me, plus i mention it in the notes, thats all i know how to write
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:02:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18735874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creepypaola/pseuds/creepypaola
Summary: Uk'otoa grows stronger, and Fjord does too. Caleb still hasn't given up on him.





	We could have had it all (You're gonna wish you never had met me).

**Author's Note:**

> Remember Song Fics from like, nine years ago? Let's bring those back.  
> Written after the heart attack I (and Travis) had during episode 61. No spoilers, I'll just mention it in the end notes.
> 
> Song: Rolling in the Deep - Adele

There’s blood on his face, he can feel it drooling from his temple down his cheeks. His hair are plastered allover his face and neck, drenched in sweat and dried blood. Caleb watches Fjord as the warlock spits blood onto the floor and smears is hand over his face trying to stop the dark red trail from coming out of his nose and dripping into his mouth. His nasal septum is definitely broken, and in multiple places too, probably. He would very much be surprised otherwise. They are looking at each other from opposite sides of the room, breathing heavily, both on the verge of attacking again.

 

_See how I leave with every piece of you_

_Don’t underestimate the things I will do_

 

They have been fighting for what it felt like ages by now. The white marble floors of the old temple are streaked with deep red marks, the walls fractured and burned in the unfortunate spots at the receiving end of multiple fire blasts. The rain is still pouring heavily outside, lightning flashing through the dark night sky, thunders shaking the high, thick glass windows.

 

None of the two is looking good. Fjord is holding his right shoulder with his left hand, blood seeping through his fingers and down on the ground. In his other hand the falchion is trickling, water and blood mixed together, the yellow eye glowing more than usual and lining Fjord’s side with a golden shadow.

 

_There’s a fire starting in my heart_

_Reaching a fever and it’s bringing me out the dark_

 

He rotates the sword in his hand, wincing as his wrist moves around its joints. He does it a couple of times until he can see Caleb’s eyes focused on it and then his other hand leaves his shoulder and a beam of eldritch blast shoots from his palm.

  

Caleb flinches and barely blocks the sphere with his shield, deflecting it towards one of the columns beside him, the blast cracking and burning the ancient stone.

 

The smell of phosphorus spreads in the air as Caleb drags the component through his palm and a wall of fire rises between them. Fjord covers his eyes with his hands, trying to screen them from the light and the heat. He can barely hear Caleb’s words over the sound of crackling flames.

  
“Why is he making you do this?”

 

Fjord takes a step back and glances at the main entrance where the rain in coming in from outside forming puddles on the floor. He grins and with a flick of his wrist a wave crashes inside, water dragging over the scorching fire.

 

Steam saturates the air as the flames shrink down to his ankle level. Fjord takes a few steps forward and close the distance to the now barely lit flames on the ground.

 

“ _He_ is not making me do anything.”

 

Fjord thundersteps forward and reaches Caleb in the blink of an eye. Before the wizard can even react, Fjord’s right hand closes around his neck and lifts him up against the wall. Caleb can feel the scarred palm pressing over his skin as he struggles to take a breath.

 

_The scars of your love they leave me breathless_

_I can’t help feeling we could have had it all_

“This- this is not y-you.” Choked whispers come out Caleb’s mouth but his eyes are present and fixed on Fjord’s own. “Tell- _ah_. Tell m-me how to st-stop him.” He places his hand on Fjord’s wrist and grabs it “T-tell me how to help- help you.”

 

With is free hand Calebs snaps a twig between his fingers and a beam of crackling, blue energy lashes out from his other palm and into Fjord’s arm and body.

 

The half orc immediately goes limp and drops to his knees with a pained scream, as Caleb eases out of his grasp and shifts behind him, forcing Fjord’s arm behind his back and slamming his face into the wall.

 

Caleb’s voice is rough when he speaks again after a couple of aching breaths, “I don’t know your past, Fjord,” it sounds both like a plead and a prayer whispered into Fjord’s hear “but this doesn’t have to be your future.”

 

There’s a moment when Fjord’s arm stops struggling over Caleb’s grip and his shoulders drops down. Silence surrounds them, only the sound of the rain hitting the windows reverberating inside the temple.

 

Then, a dry, almost melancholic, laugh comes out of Fjord’s mouth.

_Baby I have no story to be told_

_But I’ve heard one on you and I’m gonna make you head burn_

 

Another beam of eldritch blast shoots from Fjord’s clasped hand and burst into Caleb’s chest. His body flies half across the room and slams into the altar at its center. Fjord rests his forehead on the wall for a moment before standing up with a painful sigh and turning towards the barely breathing man leaning against the platform. He walks there, limping, and smears his hand across the shrine's surface. Veins of bright red stain the grey stone as he circles it, the runes carved into it filling quickly with both of their blood.

 

“If redemption is what you are offering me, Widogast” he stops in front of Caleb before summoning the falchion again “I do not want it, nor do I seek it.”

 

He crouches down and lifts Caleb’s chin with the pointy end of the blade. The wizard’s breaths are getting shorter and shorter and there’s blood dripping out of his mouth; his hands are shaking but he is staring at Fjord with vivid blue irises.

 

“That has always suited you more, hasn’t it?” He stands up again and drags his hand across the blade, opening a new cut that crosses the one already there on his palm. Fjord holds his breath and then squeezes his hand on the altar, wincing. He imperceptibly tilts his head and a familiar voice echoes clear inside his mind.

 

_REWARD._

_Turned my sorrow intro treasure gold_

_You pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow_

 

The windows explode, green and blue glass shattering onto the ground, as the temple starts trembling from his foundations. The thunders outside grow louder and louder and Fjord doesn’t notice Caleb’s hands clasping the altar, slowly lifting himself up.

 

“I’m sorry it has to go like this. I wish I could have done more.”

 

Fjord snaps his head towards him as three scorching rays hit him in his chest, launching him towards the wall behind. A scream cuts through the air and then nothing more.

 

Caleb collapses onto the pavement again from the strain. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the stone, his hears buzzing. He waits until his sight vaguely comes back to focus and then slowly makes his way towards Fjord, crawling.

 

The warlock is still breathing but his armor is drenched in blood, a pool of crimson quickly spreading beneath him, the white of the streak between his hair now replaced by a dark red. Caleb kneels beside him and Fjord watches as the man grabs his freshly cut hand and holds it in his own, cut palm to cut palm.

 

_The scars of your love remand me of us_

_They keep me thinking that we almost had it all_

 

He smiles at Caleb and weakly squeezes back. For the first time in what it feels like forever, the harsh and deep voice inside him that used to drown his own thoughts is now quiet. He is tired, so tired, his eyelids are getting heavier every second that passes and every broken breath feels like a dagger piercing though his rib cage.

 

_Tears are gonna fall_

_Rolling in the deep_

 

He tries to speak but his mouth is too dry, and he ends up coughing blood. There’s a murmured and soft _Shh_   from Caleb as he traces Fjord’s scar down to his sharp, fractured cheekbone. He is quietly crying but Fjord is not too sure because there are tears falling from the corners of his eyes too, now.

 

He smiles once more and gathers all of his remaining strength and tries to talk again. His words are hoarse and wet, barely above a whisper.

 

“Thank you.”

 

Caleb holds him until Fjord’s chest stops moving, and much longer after that.

**Author's Note:**

> Can I write fics where no one dies or loses everything they care about? Absolutely not, as you can see.  
> So let's talk about ep 61: WHAT THE FUCK, MATT. God i was so stressed, i'm sure Travis lost at least twelve years off his life because i definitely did. When he *SPOILERS!* got his power back at the end of the episode i was so relieved but all i could think about was: _what if Fjord will have to get more and more violent to placate Uk'otoa? Like "kill your friends and release a god" kind of violent. ___  
> Lets hope he doesnt!!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> This was written in a couple of hours really quickly, so the plot isnt that much laid out, i just needed to get this idea out of my head (and also throw in some widofjord because why not). As usual not edited (not surprising).  
>  
> 
> It's also very short but thats because im working on something longer than will involve all the mighty nein!! which is taking me awhile because the plot i imagined is turning out to be more complicated to write than i expected (its not that i didnt expect that, its just that i never write more than a single chapter and my dumb ass thought that sure, it's gonna take me the same time. it's not)  
>  
> 
>  
> 
> Let me know what you think! on tumblr or twitter, both @creepypaola


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